AUGUST

The holiday season

In August the serene Provance is invaded by tourists, who can even be recognized miles away; new shopping baskets, spotless cars, immaculately dressed women. Although the natives find here or there something to grumble at the tourists, “… it was generally agreed that they were a funny bunch…” Fun could also be made of them: “ What is it that changes from the colour of a dead rat to the colour of a dead lobster in three hours? Les Anglais en vacances.”
It is important to emphasize that English are not the only who undergo a transformation. French people too change from dead boring (or better to say formal) to riotously amusing. On a party where Peter and his wife were the only English speaking, the sound of Vivaldi was replaced by “… a few seconds of electronic hissing, followed by the shriek of a man undergoing heart surgery without anesthetic…” What an affect will this music have on other members of such an elegant gathering?

If this party isn’t enough to bring you in good mood or to make you laugh your head off, you could visit a traditional goat race. Putting a bet on the sheep is common, but if you are not familiar with it, it is recommended to seek advice since this goat racing is a highly sophisticated discipline. Not only you should calculate for the sheep (the sheep who make the most droppings before the race are likely to be faster), but also for the drivers, for the strongest driver.

VOCAB
§ solemn - Her face grew solemn.
§ Consternation – SYN: DISMAY - Her mouth fell open in consternation.
§ Inducement to sb/sth – SYN: INCENTIVE - Government officials have been accused of accepting inducements.
§ sartorial - He is known for his sartorial elegance.

JUNE

“The local advertising industry was in bloom.” As another summer season began the pace of live in Provence accelerated a bit. Adverts filled the windscreens of cars, amongst which was one inviting to donate blood. Peter and his wife took the plunge. At the time they got to the village hall in Gordes, the rooms were already crowded with as well sober volunteers as with some men in inebriated condition. What amazed them was that contrary to England where you usually get a cup of tea and cookies, the food and drinks were in surfeit, prepared to wine and dine those who suffered the depredation of an injection. “Hundreds of liters had been collected that morning in Gordes, but the other statistic that interested me- the number of liters that had been drunk- was nowhere to be found, a tribute to medical discretion.”

Another interesting thing we find out in this chapter is the ingrained social behavior of the Provencal people. You have to go to great lengths to get used to the quaint daily rituals and become one of THEM (the Provencal people). Why go to great lengths? The rules for social behavior are deeply enshrined in the heads or Provencal men and women. Shaking hands is not just a simple handshake. While men are known to be “prone” to a whole palette of handshakes and are at the risk to suffer bodily damage, women have to be good in maths. Kiss once, twice or three times – who knows? Mayle says: “It is hardly surprising that aerobics never became popular in Provance.” A trip to Aix, a university town, reveals another set of rules one should apply to while going to a café.

One topic is covered through the whole book, namely the renovation of their 200-year-old farmhouse. This made me think about their financial situation. They must be filthy rich, or am I mistaken? I mean, not only did they move to France and bought a house (I suppose it wasn’t that cheap) but also were embellishing it to perfection. Besides, trips to the neighboring villages and diners in unique and venerable restaurants couldn’t be that inexpensive either.

VOCAB
§ excitable - a class of excitable ten-year-olds
§ perilous - a perilous adventure / journey
§ perfunctory - They only made a perfunctory effort.
§ furtive - She cast a furtive glance over her shoulder.
§ Convalesce - She is convalescing at home after her operation.

JANUARY

This fabulous and hilarious book begins on New Year’s Day with a divine lunch in a restaurant in France. Peter Mayle and his wife have for long been considering to realize their long-cherished dream to move to Provence, where they spent their hot summer holidays. Finally, they bought a charming 200-year-old farmhouse at the base of the Lubéron Mountains, took French lessons and shipped their two dogs from UK.

The secluded and warm place planted with vines, as well as the hospitality of their neighbours (Henriette & Faustin) was enticing them more and more. Neither the unearthly dialect nor the stories about the bone-chilling winter wind Mistral, “which was blamed for every problem in Provence that couldn’t be blamed on the politicians”, couldn’t make them change their minds. They didn’t know that the stories about the wind were true till the day they experienced it firsthand. The wind cracked their pipes, ripped tiles from the roof and tore a window from its hinges.

I would love to experience the winters there in France. It might change my attitude towards winter, in particular the snow because up till now, regardless the aftermaths, I’ve been craving for it. A winter without snow is like a mouth without teeth :). It’s like the song says: “Love and marriage go together like horse and carriage …” And all people just grumble and whinge and I don’t know what else. I like it and I want snow, right now!
“Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!”

By the same token, do you know what I find peculiar here in Austria concerning winters? As soon the temperature drops not even below freezing, the heating immediately “gets into top gear” and it gets unbearably hot. Are the Austrians cold people? What is more, instead of “shifting into the first gear”, they /we open the windows, if at all. From my point of view a bit strange.

Besides the wind, bureaucratic mazes weren’t making their life easier. Buying the house was a disaster, let alone a car because “documents are holy things here and deserve respect”. We meet Antoine Massot, who is to become their “personal advisor”.

VOCAB
· Amiable – His parents seem very amiable
· Extenuating circumstances - There were extenuating circumstances and the defendant did not receive a prison sentence.
· Disposition – She has a cheerful disposition.
· Tiles – The wind ripped the tiles from the roof.

In comparison to JI this book is much easier to read and funnier as well. No that JI is not funny, but it is harder to understand Monagan`s humour. Otherwise the topics are almost the same: problems with settling in, bureaucracy. A huge difference is in the peoples “nature”. While the Irish people seem more reserved, the France people are rather outgoing.